Muse (MALAVITA Book 1) by Diane Portman-Ray

Author:Diane Portman-Ray [Portman-Ray, Diane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-05-24T16:00:00+00:00

I loved Oprah Winfrey like everyone in America did. I’d watched her since I was little, and they started televising her local Chicago syndicated talk show nationally in 1986. I wasn’t older than five when I fell in love with that woman. When mom was pregnant with Enzo, she had to spend a lot of time in bed, and we would snuggle every afternoon watching the Oprah Winfrey Show, listening to all those stories, and mom made sure I took a good life lesson from every one of them, and Oprah became my role model. I rented The Color Purple about a million times just to see her play Sofia. She grew up poor, discriminated and abused, but nothing stopped her. Half of her life was marked by bad luck and injustice, and somehow, she found a way to claw her way out to the light, turn herself into an American icon – a woman, all on her own – I couldn’t help but fish for the hope shining in her story.

Last year, I had a few days off at the beginning of January. Tina and Lou hosted this big New Year’s party to celebrate the year of ’95 where they asked me to waitress, and I got very sick after that; the fever kept me in bed for a week. I remember the one of the shows she had then: a former crack addict was sitting on the couch and talking about his struggle with the drugs and how hard it was to regain his life back before it was too late. Oprah’s face grimaced with anguish, and she told him something that shocked the country. She said ‘I did your drug.’ It was shocking to watch her confess her life’s greatest secret in front of millions of people, and a part of me was disappointed to see my idol slipping from her pedestal. She said it happened when she was a news anchor back in Nashville. After being blessed with the miracle of a new life, I couldn’t understand why she’d risk everything for something so stupid, so vile when she knew the power of destruction that behavior could have and still did it and for what? For a man. ‘I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t have done for that man,’ she said, and I remembered how outlandish that sounded to me at the time. That moment stayed with me for days. I couldn’t stop thinking, why would anyone who went to church and was building something would fall for a man’s empty promises? I thought this day, I got my answer.

Minus the success story, Oprah and I had very similar lives. I was a woman with a thick share of disappointments and problems. I was broken, a reject, damaged goods, and all I wanted was to put distance between everything that hurt me and now I was addicted to a man that was everything I was running from.

Some people build walls around them, tall brick walls, but I didn’t aim for tall, I aimed for wide.

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